so. i left off where neighbor dude made little impression other than to depress the hell out of me.

that all changed one night (for those who know the story, it was the new jersey and r night). i was coming inside, completely sober, carrying a drunken friend who i had just rescued from the police. it was probably somewhere around 1 am. said friend was barely conscious and definitely outweighed me, so i was struggling.

just as i got to the front door of my building, i started to reach for my keys, but then saw someone coming out and thought he'd hold the door for us. it was mr. neighbor. i'd been living next door to him for 2 years, so i kind of thought he'd recognize me.

but no.

he walked out, shut the door behind him and stood in front of the door, blocking our entrance. he chanted at me, "no key, no entry! no key, no entry!"

despite his slightly bizarre and rude behavior, i politely thanked for his diligence in protecting the building from invasion by roaming miscreants (and wow - we did look pretty dangerous) and fished my key out.

as i unlocked the door, he stepped aside to light up a cigarette. he stared at me and my friend and said in a very disgusted and disapproving voice, "wow. he's REALLY drunk." then he smirked (sneered?) at me as i pulled my friend in the door.

so his talents appear to center around building security and stating the obvious. oh ... and leading a tireless crusade against noise pollution.

up next.