no disrespect to mr. springsteen, but i pretty much hate that song. especially now, when it's been going through my head for THREE FULL DAYS. i've tried everything, but i find myself starting every morning by singing it in the shower.

and then today, i'm crossing the street and i find it LIKE ACTUALLY COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH OUT LOUD. dude, i am NOT the kind of person who talks to myself. i'm the kind of person who MAKES FUN OF other people who talk to themselves.

seriously, i've been drinking like several sugar-free red bulls every day and i kind of wonder if it's starting to eat little holes in my brain.

i had a couch in my old apartment ...

god, doesn't that opener just make you ache to hear more?

right. well, said couch died several months ago in my apartment. edward absconds all responsibility, and i believe him. a certain animal may have had a hand, but that is a little unclear. either way, it's no longer a couch that anyone would want.

• broken frame: check
• viciously clawed upholstery: check
• fur-covered cushions: check
• dark, drab color: check

the question is this - what do you do with such a couch when you move? the first obvious answer to me was "by god, i'll sell it on craigslist!"

having been roundly and firmly rejected in that endeavor, i reached the second natural conclusion (a service to which i have been introduced by law-abiding edward - previously i just threw my old s*&t on the curb for passerbys to rustle through): bulk trash.

now the issue with this is that because of my crazy doorways, in order to get said couch in my apartment, i had to hire someone to disassemble it and then reassemble it inside.

GRAH!

my plan (which rapidly became apparent to edward last night) was to put off dealing with it until the last day of my lease (today) and hope the couch fairies would take it away in the night. that's actually kind of my life-plan, right there in a nutshell. now you know. anyway, much to my dismay, yesterday, like any good mother, edward loudly insisted that i begin to plan for the removal process immediately. so ... we took over our little toolbox, which contains, like, a few screwdrivers, a hammer, pliers, and (ooh - exciting!) a mini-hacksaw to try to pull apart the couch ourselves.

fun! like being dexter!

we banged and screwed (ew, dirty people - not like that!) for several hours and managed to only get the front legs off, rip off most of the covering (so now like splinters and sharp screws and staples are ready to stick us everywhere), and pull out some of the stuffing.

the bulk of the work, like most things i do, was irrelevant or counterproductive. when i started to hacksaw the back legs off, edward stopped me (boo!)

so now the couch sits, ready for the final day. half disassembled in my old living room ... waiting ... taunting ... not at all leveled out by the hand of distance.

at least that's what my browsing history would suggest ...