i may or may not have a set of friends who are demanding that i go see the sex & the city movie next weekend. most girls i know like the show, so i think i might have to do it or the horror is going to cause some kind of tear in the fabric of the universe.

honestly, though, i find almost nothing more depressing or less interesting than sex & the city, since its sole purpose seems to be to celebrate all the worst stereotypes of women.

if you know me at all, it will come as no surprise when i say that exaggeration is one of my favorite modes of communication. along those lines, there are a lot of directions i could go, but yeah ... i'm going to stick with "rip my own eyeballs out".

unfortunately, today is also for working on a project that i should have done last friday and decided not to start, because in my mind, i had FOUR WHOLE DAYS to do it.

my tendency to procrastinate is epic. i even had a dream about procrastinating last night. i think it involved me not going to class or doing any of my homework in a math class and then attempting to learn everything the day of the test.

please note: my dream is remarkably similar to my behavior freshman year in college. i once stayed up late, not studying and watching the miniseries "jfk: reckless youth" the night before a calc midterm. the error of my ways only hit home when i was staring at the test the next day, with no idea how to even begin solving the problems. so, naturally, i decided the best thing to do was to shut my eyes for a second and just ... think hard. unfortunately, when i looked back up at the clock after that "second", i realized that 45 minutes had ticked by while i slept.

of course, through the magic of partial credit and grade inflation, i passed the class! ah, the rewards for bad behavior ...

is for recovering from

• playing tennis quite badly, if i may say so myself - although it was my first game EVER, so understanding where i was supposed to be hitting the ball was a challenge

• attempting to swim in a frigid pool, which still was nowhere near the temperature of lake superior, where i used to swim regularly in may because i am pure bad*ss

• drinking a bottle of champagne in and near said pool

a cautionary tale in three haikus:

last week's stories sit

mocking attempts to find them

forever hidden

frustration mounting

my "older posts" suggestion

greeted with laughter

"you're such a user!

navigation? ha! besides

this is not a blog."

print your own graph paper!