i may or may not have a set of friends who are demanding that i go see the sex & the city movie next weekend. most girls i know like the show, so i think i might have to do it or the horror is going to cause some kind of tear in the fabric of the universe.

honestly, though, i find almost nothing more depressing or less interesting than sex & the city, since its sole purpose seems to be to celebrate all the worst stereotypes of women.

if you know me at all, it will come as no surprise when i say that exaggeration is one of my favorite modes of communication. along those lines, there are a lot of directions i could go, but yeah ... i'm going to stick with "rip my own eyeballs out".

unfortunately, today is also for working on a project that i should have done last friday and decided not to start, because in my mind, i had FOUR WHOLE DAYS to do it.

my tendency to procrastinate is epic. i even had a dream about procrastinating last night. i think it involved me not going to class or doing any of my homework in a math class and then attempting to learn everything the day of the test.

please note: my dream is remarkably similar to my behavior freshman year in college. i once stayed up late, not studying and watching the miniseries "jfk: reckless youth" the night before a calc midterm. the error of my ways only hit home when i was staring at the test the next day, with no idea how to even begin solving the problems. so, naturally, i decided the best thing to do was to shut my eyes for a second and just ... think hard. unfortunately, when i looked back up at the clock after that "second", i realized that 45 minutes had ticked by while i slept.

of course, through the magic of partial credit and grade inflation, i passed the class! ah, the rewards for bad behavior ...

is for recovering from

• playing tennis quite badly, if i may say so myself - although it was my first game EVER, so understanding where i was supposed to be hitting the ball was a challenge

• attempting to swim in a frigid pool, which still was nowhere near the temperature of lake superior, where i used to swim regularly in may because i am pure bad*ss

• drinking a bottle of champagne in and near said pool

a cautionary tale in three haikus:

last week's stories sit

mocking attempts to find them

forever hidden

frustration mounting

my "older posts" suggestion

greeted with laughter

"you're such a user!

navigation? ha! besides

this is not a blog."

print your own graph paper!

i'll admit that i'm particular about the way things look. maybe that's why i'm surprised by the ridiculous condo developer decisions i've seen during our housing search ... but i kind of don't think so ...

some of my favorites so far:

• chopping up modern-looking loft-style condos into a rat warren of tiny rooms ... and then adding colonial finishings

• believing that you're going to get $1.2M for a third-floor walkup with mediocre appliances, a bunch of itsy-bitsy rooms, and no view

• building the unit such that there's a giant streetlight right outside the floor-to-ceiling living room window ... and bizarrely featuring a closeup of a small, unremarkable microwave in the listing photos

• designing a living room that it would be impossible to situate regular-sized furniture in ... and then putting the kitchen under the stairs

• doing a poor job of covering for recent water damage in several units

• see above on the water damage ... and also creating a "private" roof terrace surrounded on three sides by a wooden fence, with the open side directly facing - and right next to - the public roof deck - i know i love spending $900k to feel like a zoo animal!

• claiming that a platform raised up three feet from the floor of the main condo is a "loft"

• advertising "soaring 9-foot ceilings" (this one's so common, I can't really call any specific location out for it)