Wow. 19 hours of driving has left me tired. But the car is over 1400 miles old now, so I can start to redline it.

The stories about multiple car crashes, crazy people meeting, fortuitous cop moments, evil bouncers and the like will have to wait until I have enough energy to keep typing. Which I no longer do.

Yeah, there might be some spoilers in this, so if you haven't seen the finale of the OC, skip this. I'll try to keep it mostly free of hints, though.

Basically, the finale was fairly lame. Tons of touch-feely garbage, along with the reintroduction of some old characters and some new (attractive?) ones. The whole episode seemed needlessly meta, however, in a Delirious sort of way. Characters kept saying things like, "Well, everything kind of went to hell a year ago...", or "everything got super crazy as soon as you left" or even, "these sorts of things don't happen to our family" as if one of the actors was about to turn to the camera, pierce the veil and say "thanks crappy screenwriters".

Nothing bothers me more than when an already melodramatic series attempts to be more dramatic by having formerly good characters fall from grace. It's silly and pointless.

Oh, and the music stank for the finale as well. And there was no explanation for the murder committed earlier. Or at least no one talked about it.

On the plus side, people looked good, the shots were done well, and from a macro perspective, it setup the next season perfectly. However, I have to say I'm looking forward more to the finale of 24 or House.

One final spoiler though: remember kids, if you are using a weapon to "persuade" someone of something, go for the extremity shot. It's less messy but it still leaves a mark.

This is hilarious.

Now get back to watching egg-head orrin hatch drone on about judges.

I love this article in the post. Let's roll the tape:

Among themselves, the squirrels appear to feel the same way, according to Vagn Flyger, a retired University of Maryland professor.

Flyger devoted himself to studying squirrels because, as he explains it, they weigh less than a deer and don't bite like a polar bear. He used to smear a tree behind his Silver Spring home with a mixture of peanut butter and Valium and then tattoo the squirrels that he found passed out below.

When he first did this, more than 30 years ago, there were only gray ones, Flyger said. Now, he says, at least four black squirrels live nearby.

Man, I cannot wait for retirement. Then I'll get some peanut butter and valium...

Two hours before I left work yesterday I had a free evening. Then things went horribly right.

The fact that my car was parked in a garage downtown and my sanity was parked in Glover Park does nothing to detract from the fact that I had a wonderful evening.

Who needs plans that always end up ganging aft agley? Spontaneous ones are superior.

This is the end for the digital NYT readers:

NEW YORK--(BUSINESS WIRE)--May 16, 2005--The New York Times announced today a new online offering called TimesSelect, which for a modest fee will provide exclusive access to Op-Ed and news columnists on NYTimes.com, easy and in-depth access to The Times's online archives, early access to select articles on the site, as well as other exciting features.

News is, by and large, fairly free on the internet. Commentary is even more so. But let's consider the two head to head on technology issues:

• NYT and WaPo have both setup xml/rss feeds
• NYT has decided to start charging for opinion columns
• WaPo has setup blogs by a variety of different authors
• NYT archive articles retreat behind a wall after a couple weeks
• WaPo articles stay linked forever

Looking at the list, it becomes fairly clear what each company is attempting to do. The Times seems committed to encouraging people to read its work, only to lure them into paying a fee. You can learn about a new opinion column through an RSS feed, but you have to cough up change to read it. You can read an article on the news page today, but if you go to the same link three weeks from now, you have to pay the piper again.

By contrast, the Post seems committed to expanding readership. If you read an article today, the link works for free forever. They continue to promote journalists and columnists to create blogs, like the always delightful Joel. Instead of nickel and dimeing readers, they are simply using advertising revenue streams. Their model seems to be to attract users of the internets to link to them. It's working.

The difference is huge in terms of a user experience. I long ago stopped linking to NYT articles, because I knew in a few weeks, the link would be dead. Now I won't be able to read opinion columns either, so the final reason I read the Times, namely, Paul Krugman, is gone.

Look at the "most popular articles" on each website. The Times consistently has people visiting the op-ed section. The Post has people visiting more hard news articles. I think that sums it up.

Despite the lack of Michael, Tuesday Salon was a success, especially on the culinary front. Best of all, we now have a limited supply of several different varieties of mustard.

Four square attendance was down from last week, but the level of play was up. There were tons of great volleys lasting a couple minutes each. And with shorter lines, it was much easier to get right back in and deal out some punishment to Ronald.

The supply of wood held up well, and thanks to some neighborly assistance, I was ballin in no time. Plus, I got to show off the car to the few people who hadn't seen it yet. Four, Dwight and some friends even got to ride in it.

Why bother with all the kickball drama when you can enjoy Fast Paced Four-Square instead? We're not resorting to flip-cup as a "ritual" either, like the heathens a few blocks over.

Tuesday Salon kicks off today at six in the post meridiem, as usual. You know how it goes...

It's been awhile since I shared any fast-food stories. Last night, while ordering a pizza from Papa John's, I noticed that their internet service was down. Angry, I turned to Pizza Hut to provide me with some hot delicious pizza pie.

Don't get me wrong: I enjoy Pizza Hut immensely. But this is the same place that in the past has "run out" of pepperonis. Twice. So I was a little wary. But I logged into their new system, ordered a hawaiian pizza, and sat back to wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Forty-five minutes later, a guy appeared at the door. I had paid with a credit card, but I still had to sign the sheet (since you cannot tip online with PH, which is also annoying). But the guy didn't have a pen, forcing me to run inside and rummage for one. Even after I signed it, he said he needed to "do a rubbing" so he took my credit card and did a quick rubbing against the receipt. Sketchtastic, right? Finally, he says, "you only got one pizza right?" to which I replied yes. He then pulls the top pie out of the box and runs back to his car. I take the pizza downstairs, open it, and discover it's the wrong pizza. Running back upstairs, the guy is already gone.

Furious, I call the Pizza Hut line and get to wait on hold for 10 minutes. Finally, a guy picks up and I explain the problem. He says, "well, what kind of pizza did you get" as if his computer couldn't tell him that. I say we received a small pepperoni pizza instead of my medium hawaiian pizza. The guy then says, "well, medium is actually the smallest size" as if that made a difference. I was going to point out that the pizza I received was

• square
• covered in pepperonis
• with dipping sauces
• sliced into tiny rectangles

instead of the hawaiian pizza which was supposed to be

• circular
• covered in ham and pineapple

Instead I just told him it was nothing like the pizza I ordered. So then he says, "Okay, well, how about if I give you a $5 credit on your next order from Pizza Hut?" I couldn't believe it. It was a $20 pizza with tip, and he wanted to give me a $5 credit! So I said, "um, how about if you give me the pizza I ordered instead?" He said yes, and that it would take another 45 minutes.

Sure enough, 45 minutes later, the same guy showed up at the house. He gave me my pizza, apologized profusely, and told me to "check" before I went inside. I did.

Soon I was eating delicious hawaiian pizza and watching the Dukes of Hazard after Robot Chicken. The evening had been saved in the nick of time. Pizza Hut is rapidly joining Armands as a place I refuse to order from.