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It's really much too nice outside to be stuck in the office. And there's tons of work to be done. Grr. I have a whole host of pix to throw up, tons of code needs to be...er...coded, and there's plenty of interesting stories to share. Back to drudgery. My spirits are lifted enough to bang into the ceiling. Repeatedly.
I'm back.
It turns out Bush is violating the DC Firearm Law. Wouldn't it be sweet if Tony Williams sent in the DC Police to the White House to round up Bush? Man...that's be awesome.
I'm sick. Light blogging, if at all. I caught some rays yesterday and then watched a boatload of Buffy. Today I'm feeling marginally better.
I'm not going to go into much detail, but the picture on top right now is of a gummybear I saw several weeks ago at the southern entrance to Metro Center. It's several stories above the ground behind a wall of glass. How it got there is anyone's guess...but the last time I saw it was today, and it was still there. Bizarre.
It had to happen eventually. I guess Cheney just couldn't handle playing second fiddle:
Cheney said that, while he would rather not run for president, Bush has left him little choice.
"I was perfectly happy letting George take the spotlight," Cheney said. "If things didn't look so grim, I would've continued to direct the re-election campaign from the wings. But I could see that it was time to get out—now, before the first debate."
The announcement of Cheney's bid for the presidency came as a major surprise, even to political insiders.
"It seems sudden, but it's not," he said. "I've been mulling this over ever since the last State Of The Union address, to be honest. I decided to go through with it last night, when I stopped by the president's office to discuss a speech I'd dropped off earlier that day and caught him sitting on the couch, watching Fox News and eating Fritos. He hadn't even picked the damn thing up. I exploded. I said, 'That's it. Next year, I'm running this country myself.'"
Some have called Cheney the most active vice-president in the history of the executive branch. Cheney characterized this view of his term as the "understatement of the year."
Be sure to read the whole thing.
This is why I don't read the Times. The idiotic Judith Miller spun six ways from Sunday in every article she wrote. She was practically sleeping with Ahmed Chalabi. Let's look at one instance:
Because of the debate in Washington over defectors' credibility, Mr. Haideri was not interviewed by American intelligence agents until months after he left Iraq. Richard Perle, chief of the Defense Policy Board, which advises the Pentagon, and a leading hard-liner on Iraq, said that until recently, C.I.A. officials were so hostile to defectors brought out of Iraq by the Iraqi National Congress, the umbrella opposition group, that they refused to interview them and even tried to discredit their information. "But ultimately, the flow of information was so vital and so overwhelming that they could no longer ignore it," Mr. Perle said.
Right, Dick. And neither could the god awful Times. Which is why I read the Washington Post.
In an attempt to clarify my earlier desire for compartmentalization, I'd like to present ten simple rules to help compartmentalize your life, followed by a brief explanation why and how.
- Keep Work and Play Distinct
- Don't volunteer information; be vague
- Keep all plans and appointments flexible
- Hang out with people who are equally flexible
- Don't follow a routine; avoid ruts at all costs
- Ommission isn't the same as lying
- Tell the truth; don't ever overtly lie
- Eliminate backchannels; if two compartments mix consider them compromised
- Build and abuse trust constantly
- Hypocrisy is your friend
Let's take the points one by one. First, the adage to keep work and play distinct is key. Workmates will have plenty of time during the day to grill you; keeping them at arm's length is key. This means less happy hours, but also less stories about "what edward did last night" when you come in on Friday morning. The workplace also places constraints on the ability of one to shade the truth, which can lead to problems with #7.
Number 2 is the key to a good compartmentalization strategy. If one divulges solid intel, it can be used later on. So one should always be circumspect, though this may eliminate good stories from being told. Need-to-know also enables one to mentally achieve #10.
#3 seems easy but requires some work. If one sets firm dates, it becomes difficult to adapt to changing circumstances, something which happens quite frequently in the well compartmented life. If one friend wishes to hang out, this could upset the delicate balance of social engagements already accepted unless one has built in some flexible failsafes.
Upon first glance, number four seems just like number three. However, ensuring one's friends are equally flexible, while more difficult to do, enables one to be compartmented without any moral conundrums. If all of one's friends don't mind being blown off with no reason attached, the entire world would be much smoother.
Five is necessary to simply prevent people from some compartment from bleeding into others. The old "every Friday night you're at..." meme can cause numerous headaches when people drift intentionally between compartments.
Six is another moral issue: not telling someone what you're doing isn't the same as lying, but often one feels bad when doing it. Get over it. If you really felt bad, you'd change. Since you haven't you're either a bad person who doesn't talk constantly or a good person with the same problem. Either way a well timed omission is key.
Seven takes experience: the natural reaction to any friend who learns of the compartment idea would be to become angry. Rather than weave a coplex web of lies, it is far easier to simply admit blame, apologize and move on. Contrition isn't too tough, so long as one realizes when things are moving south.
Number eight is easy to understand: if two compartments begin to mix, there's no way to "un-mix" them. Better to simply consider them all one group...capable of instantaneous gossip transmission, etc. Best to not let this happen, but it's important to know what to do if it does.
Nine sounds bad, but it really isn't. In short, the only way to be able to have large chunks of your life separated into distinct zones is to build up trust with your friends in each zone, and then simply use said trust to move to other zones with little or no explanation.
The final numebr, ten, is the natural result of the well compartmented life: frequently one may find oneself engaged in an activity that goes against the tenets of another compartment. Relax. It's no big deal. And once one grasps this final point, you'll realize that humans are capable of anything.
To sum up, follow these rules and you'll soon have twenty friends who all hate onther but whom are all interesting. Which is the goal, right?
Um, according to the latest usage statistics the mere picture of Jessica Cutler, the Washingtonienne, managed to somehow push this site traffic way up, making May our best month ever. Go figure. I guess sex does sell...
werkz advice: go see it in the theater
"Shrek 2" is a good film, that rapidly improves from beginning to end. The only negative is probably a lackluster enemy, played by Jennifer Saunders. (It's no AbFab) The rest of the supporting cast shines, however, and the credits at the end won't disappoint. Go see it before the big blockbusters hit!
I'm sure everyone by now has seen the Washingtonienne & Wonkette going out drinking image:
But what about after they have had a few drinks?
And what about when they got really plastered?
Maybe the guy should have kept his $400 and just waited to see her grope herself and another woman. And to all those people who seem to think "it's an outrage" that I would post her name and picture on the site...let me clue you in: she's NOT a victim here. The wife whose husband strayed is a victim. Dewine, bless his dirty GOP soul, is a victim. But Jessica Cutler isn't a victim. Hell, in the New York Post she claimed that the people in DC "couldn't run her out of town". Well, as a matter of fact, why would we want to run a girl out of town that bears a striking resemblence to the r-rated H & M mannequins a short block away from work? Trust me...it's not that cold in DC. Really.
I started and finished a book at lunch by Nicolson Baker called "A Box of Matches". I'll throw a review up later. It was lots of fun and reminded me greatly of a textual version of Jim's Journal, one of my all time favorite comics. It turns out that "nothing happening" is actually fairly interesting. Go figure.
A slightly-less than accurate quote from the incredibly boring DC4Dem meeting last night, "Um, I noticed here that you wrote local and national issues on the last item, but in the mission statement it says national and local issues and I think the order is very important".
What a joke. I almost wanted to throw something.
These are hilarious. Simply wonderful...lines like:
When you stand near trees, they will be knocked down by lightning and you will be killed by lightning! There is no escape. Lightning will knock down the tree and knock down your soul. Trees are tall.
Priceless. Read them all.
Check out the battleground states. As I've said before...this election hinges on Bush. And it's not looking good for him.
Next weekend I promise:
- Not to show somone "a pressure point"
- Not to chuck a rock at my new housemate
- Not to leave cryptic notes about "Very Important Appointments" for friends
- Not to help anyone move
- Not to spend any money
I know I'll violate the last rule, but I may have a chance avoiding the other four.
I received a plain yellow envelope on Friday. Inside, was a nice letter allowing me to "opt-out" of the porn I had been receiving for the past several months every couple of weeks. Who would reject free porn? Well, I would. Beyond being puritanical, the whole reason I started getting it was due to a complex mix-up over a year ago.
All I have to do is find a stamp and hopefully the madness will stop. Of course, they waited a year before sending me this card, but still, I'm happy they did. Unless they're just trying to ascertain if someone is still alive at my house...better not to think of that possibility.
A random image captured from when surfing the 'net. Showing the weather in Baghdad. Much like that old "which one of these things is not like the other?" comes:
Yeah. I'd like to meet a local myself...
Here's the current weather over there. Still warm. Still plenty of white girls with "69" logo t-shirts on.