The bat is back. So pull out your wallet and chip in some change if you'e got any. I'm impressed that the Dean campaign continues to up its goals: it used to be about raising $250K for a Dick Cheney luncheon. Now they want to go head-to-head with the C-in-C himself, attempting to match his million dollar fundraising effort in Portland Oregon where he said that the money he raised "indicates the depth of support here in Oregon for which I am most grateful". Um, right. $2,000 a plate luncheons for wealthy Oregonians reflects depth? Pardon me for thinking that the Dean campaign, which last quarter averaged less than $100 per average contributor, is a little more "deep".

So this afternoon, or rather, yesterday afternoon, given the time, I'm running some errands. In the midst of those errands I need to get to the Home Depot near the Rhode Island Ave. metro stop.

After blowing several hours the other day looking for a stupid lightbulb, I decide that I'll just get in and out as quickly as possible. Home Depot has to have it, right? And now that there's one in the city, it should be easy to get there and get back. I hop on the Metro, transfer at one stop, and make it to the Rhode Island Ave. exit. As I get off the train, I notice a group of kids, maybe middle-schoolers, who are laughing and yelling at each other. The older group is getting off the train, and as they're walking away the younger group start to shoud obscenities at them. I think to myself, "Hey, this is funny" but the door chime sounds and the train gets ready to leave. Right after the door chime sounds, one of the kids leans out the door and chucks a chicken bone.

He doesn't aim at his friends, who are farther down the platform. He aims at me.

So I'm not paying attention, when all of a sudden I get hid in the head with a chicken bone, turn around and see the doors close. The kids are all laughing inside, but I shrug it off (after all, this kid looks like he's ten years old) and decide just to walk to the store. I'm not really angry, just weirded out that some kid would chuck a chicken bone at me. I think to myself that this would be an amusing story to relate later. Be careful what you wish for.

I walk out of the metro station and up towards Home Depot noticing as I get close to the store that there's a van parked out front (in the loading area) and for some reason there's a bike lying on the ground in the middle of the road, next to a man. The guy who was on the bike is holding a rather long bike lock (one of those cable-based locks) and talking to one of the two guys who evidently were driving the van.

As I get closer, I notice the conversation is fairly heated, when suddenly the guy with the bike lock cable starts attacking one of the guys from the van. They fight for a few seconds (I'm still walking closer) and then bike man grabs a 2x4 from somewhere, brandishing it like a weapon (a much better weapon than a bike cable, I might add) but doesn't really hit anyone. The other van friend has mixed it up by this point and van man #1 uses the opportunity to grab the 2x4 from bike man and clock him upside the head.

A security guard who must've weighed 300 pounds easily started barking into his radio "Get the police" and then walked over and banged on the Home Depot store windows. He didn't try to get involved. I sure as hell wasn't going to intervene given the amount of different weapons involved. Finally another security guard showed up, while brained bike man was attempting to choke van man #1 with the aforementioned 2x4, and got everyone to stand down.

I go inside, get my lightbulb and check out. When I get back outside, the idiots had called a fire engine and an ambulance and a police car. Though excessive, this still doesn't top the time someone called 2 ambulances, 2 police cars and a fire engine to evict a homeless man from a Popeyes' bathroom (I was in the drive-through at the time). But somehow the guy who had started everything was now claiming he was the victim, which rang a little hollow. Of course, he was bleeding all over the place from the back of his head where the guy crushed him with the 2x4, but he wasn't even getting checked out in the ambulance when I passed.

Thinking the hilarity of the evening had passed (this was, after all, NE DC, which is a little sketchtastic) I returned back home via metro but dropped off at the local 7-11 to pick up a hot dog for dinner. I go inside and pick up a drink, moving to the counter to order a hot dog, when I notice that some guy is standing in front of me berating one of the sales clerks. It's obvious the guy is homeless, and for some reason has threatened to stay in the store. The sales clerk will have none of it, and doesn't take too kindly to him insulting her nationality. She's from Africa and he seems to think that this means she's worthless.

Every time the homeless guy makes a move to pick up his bags and leave, the clerk fires back with some snappy "I may not be from America but you don't even have a home. That's shameful. You should be ashamed." The homeless guy then gets angry and starts calling her an "African Heifer" to which she replies in her crispy accent (this woman would've made a perfect BBC reporter) that he's no one, and that he's a complete loser. At some point one of the other customers points out to the clerk that she doesn't really need to keep making fun of the homeless guy (because he clearly is ready to leave as long as he gets the final word in) but she'll have none of it. I finally get to the counter, ring up my meal, and look to the left, towards the store window, to see the homeless guy staring in at all of us. This is just too funny, for reasons I don't even know. I start to laugh and then several of the customers (including the very proud clerk) laugh as well. Of course, the homeless guy takes it the wrong way and pops his head back to shout some obscenities at the sales clerk for laughing at him.

I get my meal and exit, stage right. I wonder what sort of fun stuff will happen today? I love the district: something crazy is always going on here.

Oh, one more thing: go here and help Dr. Dean fight the repressive Patriot Act. As I mentioned in my letter to Ashcroft, if the terrorists hated our open society precisely because of the freedoms we enjoy, shouldn't we be protecting our civil liberties, not discarding them at the first possible moment? Then the terrorists will already have won.

According to the latest ARG poll Dean has surged in front. This is interesting because ARG typically had Kerry leading Dean every week by 7-10 percentage points until this one. The lead is still technically within the +4/-4 margin of error, but only just. And considered next to the previous polls, it's a swing of 13 points from the last one. Interestingly enough, only Kerry and Dean are above 10%, with Dick Gephardt bringing up the rear at said number. Below Dick there's no one until Lieberman at 4% and the rest at 0-2%. If Kerry and Dean continue to suck up all the votes, with Gephardt getting the rest, this is a bad blow for Lieberman, Graham and Edwards. The CW is simple: Gephardt had to win Iowa to stay in, Dean & Kerry have to win NH to stay in, and the number 3 in NH will probably make it a little longer. If Gephardt manages to win Iowa (still not certain, given Dean's rise) and come in #3 in NH, he'll be setup as the alternative to Dean/Kerry. Given that fight, I see Dean/Kerry winning the whole thing. Gephardt just doesn't have it in him.

damn it. i'm ticked off already from an aborted conversation about nothing in particular and then i walk home and my room smells like smoke. i can't just crash because i've got shirts to hang up and contacts to remove. so i walk to my computer to express a little rage at the situation and i idiotically check my e-mail.

curse you for sending an e-mail! now i just have to vent about the smoke. i don't even have a reason to be angry anymore, but i want to be nonetheless. stupid shirts. stupid contacts. stupid traffic ticket sitting in front of me.

unlimited time is a fallacy. one day you wake up, look around and suddenly you're not there anymore. on a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. i am jack's lack of complete surprise.