I have met my boyfriends parents twice and both times seemed to have gone pretty smooth. The problem is that I dont know what to talk about when I am around his parents. My boyfriend said it would be nice if I could talk to his mom more when I see her and to kind of spend a little time with her so we can get to know each other. What are some good conversation starters and what should I talk to her about because this is all new to me?

Sincerely,
A Curious Conversationalist



Helena replies:

Edward replies:

Well, there are a whole host of things you can talk about. I'm a little curious about your statement that this "is all new to you" because it implies that you haven't spoken to anyone in a long time. Unless you were born a mute, you should just get to know his parents as you would any other strangers. At first, I'd refrain from making fun of them or appearing rude. No cursing, you know the drill.

As long as you don't make any major faux pas on the etiquette front, you can talk about almost anything. I say almost because you probably want to skip the politics/religion quagmires. If you want to talk about some local sports teams, that's good, but it helps to get a heads up from your boyfriends so you don't make a verball gaffe and end up alienating them both.

If you want to get to know his mom (or, rather, if your boyfriend wants you to get to know his mom) then ask your boyfriend what his mother enjoys talking about. If she's into gardening, ask her about that. If she gets really fired up about movies or her job, ask her about that. The trick is actually being genuinely interested in learning about his parents, or at least seeming like you are. If you have no desire to get to know either of them, I'd suggest you fake it. Insert sexist joke here.

Brad replies:

The first rule of going on a trip is don't go for a swim with your cell phone.

The second rule of going on a trip is don't go for a swim with your cell phone.

With that said, showing up late for a 6:30 am flight that you awoke for at 4:30 in the morning after having only taken 2 hours of rest is also a big pill to swallow. Fortunately, I had a fifty pound bag of stuff on my back, and another 20 pounds in my right/left hand, depending on where I was. Yesterday was not fun.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I started out at the beach. Virginia Beach, to be precise. It was warm and sunny and the water was perfect. There were a few too many jellyfish, in my not-so-humble opinion, but most were so small that they didn't even sting you. The waves were nice and high several of the days, which was fun. And my vitamin D level finally approached the proper level for summertime. I had managed to secure a decent base the weekend before, so hopefully I'll manage to last without significant fading into the fall season. We'll see how that goes.

Plenty of mindless hours were spent reading, catching some rays and enjoying life in the ocean. Nothing major happened. Just a good wholesome week of nothing. It's always best to have some nothing time available every so often, just to detox off of life itself. No worries, no ringing cell phone, no e-mail. No nothing. It's a good feeling when you can control your temperature by going into the ocean or lying on the sand, and when the biggest decision is what particular fish to eat for dinner.

Minor annoyance number one was that my cell phone was roaming in VA Beach. AT&T Wireless evidently doesn't have coverage down there, and the last time I roamed on the system I ended up blowing almost $100, so I was loathe to repeat said error. Consequently, even though my phone would ring, I didn't pick it up until later...much later. I didn't check my voicemail all that often, because I kept hoping nothing really bad was happening. As it turned out, nothing did. Now, however, I have to go back and track down all the people who thought I was around and make amends for not returning their phone calls/e-mail in a timely manner.

Minor annoyance number 2: Virginia Beach is great for unwinding. Maybe a little too great. If you like working on your tan, you're set. (Which means I was fine.) If you want to rip up the town with a bevy of scantily clad, of-age women, you might want to look elsewhere. Enough said. No stories, in this case, is a good thing.

Minor annoyance number 3: checking my e-mail with pop commands from a remote location after I got back from the beach. I know this is fairly geeky, but using pop commands to check your e-mail is a tough road to hoe, especially when you've got 140 new messages in your box. Fortunately, I didn't have much time to do this, because as soon as I finished my beach trip I departed for a wedding in Pittsburgh. Which will occupy part II of the digression.

Whoops!

I meant to write an explanatory note detailing my absence for the past week...it's the longest time I've gone for over a year without posting anything. But I didn't have the ability.

Stories to be posted shortly, after I read all of my e-mail, etc.