Let's revisit what Bush said in the press conference that got Brad all steamed up, shall we?

The last sentence seems simple, but funny. Brad thought Bush was being honest. It turns out Brad was wrong: Bush managed to make up 3 items in a single sentence.

To wit, there weren't 50 tons, there was no mustard gas, and it wasn't found in a turkey farm. Perhaps Bush was drunk?

You know you love it. Sadly, I bet the President would prefer his PDB in Powerpoint format. And I bet Condi would be great at making up these little gems, too.

In a word: damn.

So Bush ordered a plan up attacking Iraq even while we were fighting in Afghanistan...makes me wonder if he thought we'd catch UBL quick and then have nothing more to do except fight terrorists. What an idiot. At least Woodward is back on the good side again, illuminating people through his own personal brand of "open government". If he had to kiss up a bit to get this, so be it.

Cross sold separately. You know you want to catch 'em all!

Enjoy the exorcist bunnies. You've gotta love those g-town stairs at the end, right? 30 seconds of pure hilarity.

One of my co-workers commented that they didn't believe "suiciders" was a word. (Except for Fox News, I suppose, the creators of the term "homicide bombers") I checked the dictionary. It's not.

And as Toles points out, it's not poetry either. A brilliant cartoon. I especially love that "nuculer" is in the poetry not used section. Subtle.

It's a perfect day.

The first day of spring-like weather, really. This weekend it's going to go over 80, so it'll be officially summer. I guess I should enjoy the one day of spring while it's here.

Eventually, of course, the house always wins. So my plans to visit scenic Bali with Fincher and friends have fallen through, due to a myriad of different circumstances. So now I'm stuck without a beach in mind, without the hope of sun in the future. It's dark all around me, notes floating softly through the ether, my eyes occasionally glancing across my desktop: a giant picture of the earth from space, centered around Iran. Too dangerous. Right now my top two choices, should a few gs land in my lap, would be Cape Verde or Tunisia. Neither are cheap, but I figure I have a month or so to save up again, working hard to overcome this latest bit of adversity.

Of course, these are petty problems of the idle rich. The mere fact that I can waste a single iota of energy wondering where I could jet off too says volumes about my too comfortable lifestyle. Not that I fail to appreciate the absurdity of a quarter century year old, living in a house over two hundred years old, complaining about his inability to travel halfway around the globe for the pure hell of it. Only in this century, I think.

Still, the problem of sun remains. I can't ask Nicole after the whole Bahamas debacle (yet another reason I am unwilling to admit defeat: two setbacks do not a constitute a total loss) and that leaves little left. Perhaps Jill could share some Virgin love, but I think her trip is a family deal. Maybe I need to meet more rich friends with low-maintenance jobs. Yeah, that's the ticket for next year. For this year, though, I'm back to square one. Any other people from our cast of characters care to lend a hand? Any help would be appreciated.

Oh, I fooled around with the stylesheet some more. Check out the preview of what the site could look like soon.

Head over to news.google.com and type in "president bush news conference" and check out the first result. Priceless.

The best line from the September 11th Commission came seconds ago. A rough version is this: the Republican commissioner asked George Tenet why the CIA couldn't run a domestic intelligence program like that of the FBI. Tenet replied that there was a long series of reasons this would be bad, including historical, logistical and privacy reasons. The commissioner then said, "Well, what are these privacy concerns you're talking about? Why couldn't the CIA do domestic intel in addition to what it does now?" Tenet delivered the best argument against a domestic intelligence agency that I've heard to date:

"Well...sir, I don't mean to be flippant, but we deal mostly with issues that are overseas. And, to be honest, we often do...things...that might be illegal in other countries. And that would be a problem, here in this country."

Why don't we get that level of brutal honesty from anyone else in the administration? Tenet is saying what everyone knows, namely, that the CIA engages in operations overseas that would not be countenanced here. Everyone in DC knows this, which is why it's so refreshing to hear someone say the truth. If Rice was asked the same question, no doubt, she'd have pontificated about "structure" instead of just saying the main problem out in the open.

Brad, don't get me started on the "brown-skinned" comment. I can't believe our president knocked down such a scary straw-man there. I won't bother relinking to the transcript.

On an unrelated note, last night I'm in Blockbuster, seconds before it closes, renting a video I'm sure will suck, when I realize I forgot my card. The people at the counter say I can't check anything out without it because "the system is going down" whatever that means.

Yet I walk out minutes later, movie in hand, it turns out to be extremely amusing and everything works out perfectly. Since last Friday my lucky streak seems to be in full swing. All I need now is to magically make a decent amount of money and I'd be set. Just a couple grand would tide me over for a few months. We'll see how that thought progresses.

Until then I'm going to keep rolling the dice, for after all, if you're not playing, you can never win anything at all.

Bush mangled his press conference this evening, and I found it painful to watch. Some moments were hilarious like the one below. Let's roll the tape:

Um, that wasn't an answer. At all. Sometimes Bush would respond with simply poorly chosen words, such as when he responded to a question of creating a domestic intel agency by saying, "Well, you're talking about one aspect of possible -- I think you're referring to what they call the MI5." I assume, should we create our own version of MI5, that we wouldn't call it that. And Bush's curious phrasing makes me wonder if he even knows that MI5 is the British domestic intelligence agency.

Sometimes, Bush's non-sequiturs almost seemed freudian, such as when he responded to a question about feeling personally responsible for September 11th with this answer, "I think the hearings will show that the Patriot Act is an important change in the law that will allow the FBI and the CIA to better share information together...We were kind of stovepiped, I guess is a way to describe it. There was, you know, kind of departments that at times didn't communicate -- because of law, in the FBI's case." We were kind of stovepiped?? What? Clearly Bush doesn't understand what stovepiping is. It's like he's playing mad-libs on primetime television with a bunch of nouns and adjectives he's overheard Condi Rice and Dick Cheney saying. Bizarre.

Overall, I think the decision to have him speak was a bad one. Bush never looks good in this format, even if it is tightly scripted, as this one was.

Even the GOP members aren't going easy on him. It's actually almost uncomfortable to watch. Ashcroft looks like an idiot.

Freeh is getting torn apart by Kerrey right now. Be sure to check it out.

Word is Romijn is single again. Hooray! Maybe she got punished...

I just checked out CNN and they were running this atrocious headline/photo caption. Yeah.

You know, come to think of it, maybe I should head down to AT&T or Verizon or Pepco with a sledgehammer to iron out some details the next time I want to "negotiate" something with them.

For the record, the picture is actually of an operation in Fallujah, but you kind of knew that already, didn't you?

The New Republic just doesn't get it. Let me clear one things up for them: The Daily Show is funny. And political. It engages and educates young people. It skewers the pompous. Here's the key graph from the piece:

Got it...evidently, as Wonkette pointed out, voting is for old people, who have no sense of humor.

Who is Richard Gordan? And why is he calling me on Easter? Weird.

In other, unrelated news, I'd like to apologize to all my friends I've laughed at over the years for being particularly pasty. Having now seen the whitest non-albino human ever, first-hand, I am thankful I live on this side of the pond, cool colonial accents notwithstanding. Oh, wait. They were the colonizers, not the colonizees. That was us. And India. And Australia. And South Africa. And...